It’s my stop on the virtual book tour for Sinclair Sexsmith’s Say Please! Which means, of course, I’m going to write about the Say Please release party in New York, which happened on Friday.

Who does sexily flustered better than Mr Sexsmith? No one, that's who.

I don’t think I make it any secret that I find erotica readings slightly awkward. If it’s good erotica (which Say Please is) and if it’s the particular kind of erotica that does it for you (which Say Please is, for me) then one is likely to have a biological reaction. Yet it’s in public and with all your friends and the lights are way up and even though I’ve been to play parties with less actual ambiance (and you have too I bet) it usually feels slightly you know, awkward.

And since leatherfolks are not infrequently of that superintelligent variety of people for whom additional social awkwardness can be a tiny bit of a problem (I am counting myself firmly in this category) well, huh.

But the thing is, Friday’s night reading at Bluestockings (the best book store in New York City by the way) was sexy and enjoyable rather than sexy and awkward, for the same reason the book itself is sexy and enjoyable rather than sexy and awkward. All the stories in Say Please are character driven.

Think about it? What’s weird about p***? Well besides how many men in straight porn leave their socks on and “lesbians” with long fingernails? It’s the alleged stories that make no sense, the alleged plots that go nowhere because hey, just when you think “isn’t the pizza man going to get in trouble? Can he take this much time out, he’s probably at most making minimum wage plus tips” hey look, they’re having sex and wow, I didn’t even think you could do that with an anchovie.

Hey look it's contributor Sassafras Lowrey looking angry and smart!

But if the characters in your erotica actually seem like real people with lives other than sex lives, you’re drawn in. We want to know what happens next to Xan West’s boy/girl. Do they go out for dinner? (BTW side note: West’s story is some of the most boundary breaking erotica I’ve heard in a while, and a much more fun way to talk about gender than arguing about it, which is what our community seems to love most). We want to know, what happens to Sassafras Lowrey’s first person narrator when they go back to the club?

Hey look it's contributor Perez with a very cool story (first time writing erotica!) and very cool tie

So that’s why you should buy, steal, borrow (well mostly just buy I suppose, I don’t suppose the point of a virtual book tour is to encourage people to STEAL the book) yourself a copy of Say Please. And attend the events; so far April 22 in Boston and May 2 in Seattle. Keep your eye on the Say Please website for more info.

100 percent less awkward, 100 percent more sexy, populated with real characters.

Because we all know our community is imbued with real characters, right?

PS

Sexy book cover right? I love the Cleis Press' page gives the command "immerse yourself in the world of lesbian kink" Way to be toppy Cleis!

PPS If you hated this post because it wasn’t sexy enough, you should totally visit these other stops on the virtual tour, who are REAL sex writers!

]]> http://kellidunham.com/2012/04/revival-2/feed/ 0 http://kellidunham.com/2012/03/careg/ http://kellidunham.com/2012/03/careg/#comments Fri, 09 Mar 2012 17:49:21 +0000 Kelli Dunham http://kellidunham.com/?p=892 PLEASE NOTE: THIS EVENT HAS BEEN CANCELLED AND WE WILL RESCHEDULE FOR THE FALL! WE NEED MORE TIME TO LET FOLKS KNOW ABOUT THIS. WE’RE ALSO LOOKING FOR COMMUNITY ORGANIZATIONAL PARTNERS AS WELL. IF YOU’RE INTERESTED IN HEARING ABOUT WHEN THIS WORKSHOP IS RESCHEDULE AND/OR HELPING US SPREAD THE WORD, EMAIL KELLIDUNHAM@GMAIL.COM

Queers As Caregivers; Empowering Your Parents to Talk With HealthCare Providers

Saturday April 21, 2-4 PM

William Way Community Center, 1315 Spruce Street Philly PA 19103

Did you know that LGBT people are statistically more likely to be the primary caregivers for aging adults in their families, irrespective of other caregiving responsibilites and income status?

In this workshop comic/nurse/health care advocate Kelli Dunham and her sister, also a nurse with years of experience in long term care and caregiving planning. will team up with YOU to discuss caregiving concerns, including:

-Negotiating with other family members regarding care
-Empowering parents/other older adults in their dealing with health care providers
-Dealing with ambivalent feelings in caregiving (like if your parents were or are homophobic jerks)
-Preventing burnout in caregiving
-Accessing external supports
-Using technology to ease caregiving logistics.

This workshop is free but we’ll be accepting donations to help with the rental of the room and the promotion.

If you could be so kind as to RSVP on facebook that will help us to know how many folks to prepare for and also contact you with any last minute information.

Hope your Halloween was as amazing as mine was! I spent a few nights in New Hampshire where I performed with SInclair Sexsmith at the super beautiful super gay Highlands Inn. It was a lovely weekend, hanging with an inn-ful of hard working lesbians, a murder mystery theatery-thing (indeed) and some good ol’ fashioned comedy by the fireplace.  So grateful for these kind of opportunities

I have a metric-ton of shows coming up. To highlight just a few: If you’re in New York this Saturday night, do NOT miss the November Queer Memoir: Speaking the Truth to Power. We have some very special guests, including two from out of town.  Later this month I’ll be at the Transcending Boundaries Conference in Springfield MA, I’ll be the opening night entertainment and sharing the latest addition to my workshop offerings: EMERGENCY:  Planning for Unplanned Healthcare.

Of course, you West Coast folks aren’t forgetting about Why Is the Fat One Always Angry, my CD recording show on December 10th, are you? I have a surprise guest and there will be freshly baked home-made chocolate chip cookies for everyone AND I can guarantee that you will laugh, and possibly be the tiniest bit horrified. Check out the critics’ quotes (below) from the NY show; people had quite a time! Get advance tickets here or RSVP on facebook to get updates about the show.

Finally, I want to share with you about a brand new project  I recently launched a blog called Grief Sucks: Bereavement for the Rest of Us. It’s a reaction to the kitsch that passes as death /dying/ bereavement discussion in the popular/ dominant culture and makes me want to poke out my eye with a spoon. So bits of the blog are funny/sad stories from my  grief journeys, but I’m also including nuts and bolts info about caregiving and building support systems that I’ve picked up these past few years. I’ll eventually be including interviews and guest posts as well. My hope is to encourage a sharpening of the conversations we have around grief, caregiving and intense medical situations so that folks who  are going through what I’ve been going through have more access to realistic resources. If you’d like to take a look at the blog, you can start with The Back Story, read some of the more recent posts here and take a look at the two of the larger resource pages I started: Asking for Help for Beginners and When Someone You Love Loses Someone They Love. You can also “like” Grief Sucks on facebook to make it easier to keep up with new posts. The reaction the blog has been getting is overwhelming and humbling. Clearly, people are seeking plain, direct talk about these difficult situations.

I think that’s about it for now. Stay tuned for more special projects starting early next year, thanks so so so much for your ongoing support!

Yours in humble comedy service.

Kelli Dunham

PS did you know you can sign up for my email list and never miss one of these fact filled, fun filled, link filled (yuh, I was kind of out control about that) missives. The email version also includes info on ALL my upcoming shows and links to more info for each show. Never more than one email a month, check it out at reverbnation.

Join Kelli Dunham, genderqueer Brooklyn based ex-nun nerdcomic, a Wisconsin farmboi transplant who juxtaposes midwestern friendliness with New York attitude in a way that has been described as both “horrifying” and “hilarious.” for

“Why Is the Fat One Always Angry” in SF, her CD recording show.

In “Why Is The Fat One Always Angry” (her sixth one person show and her third comedy CD) she continues on her quest to make comedy where slam poetry dares not tread. The show will address the important questions of our time, such as:

Why were there so many failed tubal ligations the year Kelli was born?
Is it okay to call your mom for the sole purpose of obtaining comedy material?
How is the Bible like the DSM?
What does being over 40 have to do with dead rabbits and the butch ego?
How many library books can one person take on vacation anyway?

More about Kelli

Kelli Dunham is the winner of the 2007 Fresh Fruit Festival Award of Distinction for stand up comedy, although she has never before or since been called distinguished. She has performed nationwide at LGBT pride events (Seattle, Long Beach CA, Rhode Island, Baltimore, Atlanta), colleges (University of Delaware, Penn State University, Smith College, Temple University, Colorado State University) and even the occasional livestock auction. Both her comedy CDs, “I am NOT a 12 Year Old Boy” and “Almost Pretty” are on regular rotation on Sirius Satellite Radio’s mainstream comedy station and she has appeared on Showtime and the Discovery Network.

She is the co-founder and co-producer of Queer Memoir, the popular NYC based storytelling event and the author of four books, including two health books for pre-teens which were, strangely enough, selected to be used by the Sonlight Christian Schools Homeschooling Curriculum as part of their science and wellness program.

Advance tickets now available, and you can also RSVP on facebook.

JUST ADDED 11.22.2011

SINCE KELLI WILL BE RECORDING HER THIRD CD, SHE WANTS TO HONOR THE PEOPLE THAT ARE PART OF THE PROCESS. EVERY ATTENDEE AT THE SAN FRANCISCO RECORDING SHOW WILL RECEIVE A FREE COPY OF THEIR CHOICE OF KELLI’S FIRST TWO CDs, I AM NOT A 12 YEAR OLD BOY OR ALMOST PRETTY.  GIFT WRAPPED COPIES WILL ALSO BE AVAILABLE WITH YOUR CHOICE OF THE GAYEST GIFT WRAP EVER!

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT WHY IS THE FAT ONE ALWAYS ANGRY

“Kelli Dunham’s new show ‘Why Is the Fat One Always Angry,’ takes you into dark places and makes you laugh at them. It is whip-smart comedy at its best.”
- Mamone, Riot Grrl Ink

“[In Kelli Dunham's new show] The fat one is not always angry…she’s also funny, sweet, smart, and heartbreaking. We laughed, we cried, we did not punch dolphins. ”
- Kathleen Warnock, Drunken! Careening! Writers (curator)

“More than ever, Why Is the Fat One Always Angry reveals Kelli’s ability to mix nonchalant shock with perfectly timed candor. Part storytelling, part therapy, part cultural commentary, and always hilarious, Kelli manages to be both a true personality and someone you’re forever rooting for. And if you ask nicely she might even make you cookies.”
- Autumn Whitefield-Madrano , The Beheld: Beauty and What It Means

“There needs to be a word that defines the odd space Kelli has found where grief turns into belly shaking laugh out loud comedy material.”
- John Paul Gor, DLM

Advance tickets or rsvp on facebook or check out Kelli’s comedy.

Advance tickets or rsvp on facebook or check out Kelli’s comedy.

Kelli Dunham is a genderqueer Brooklyn based ex-nun nerdcomic; a Wisconsin farmboi transplant who juxtaposes midwestern friendliness with New York attitude in a way that has been described as both “horrifying” and “hilarious.”

In “Why Is The Fat One Always Angry” (her sixth one person show and her soon to be released third comedy CD) she continues on her quest to make comedy where slam poetry dares not tread. The show will address the important questions of our time, such as:

Why were there so many failed tubal ligations the year Kelli was born?
Is it okay to call your mom for the sole purpose of obtaining comedy material?
How is the Bible like the DSM?
What does being over 40 have to do with dead rabbits and the butch ego?
How many library books can one person take on vacation anyway?

Opening for Kelli will be Philadelphia’s Superhero Storyteller R Eric Thomas.

Advance tickets or rsvp on facebook or check out Kelli’s comedy.

More about Kelli

Kelli Dunham is the winner of the 2007 Fresh Fruit Festival Award of Distinction for stand up comedy, although she has never before or since been called distinguished. She has performed nationwide at LGBT pride events (Seattle, Long Beach CA, Rhode Island, Baltimore, Atlanta), colleges (University of Delaware, Penn State University, Smith College, Temple University, Colorado State University) and even the occasional livestock auction. Both her comedy CDs, “I am NOT a 12 Year Old Boy” and “Almost Pretty” are on regular rotation on Sirius Satellite Radio’s mainstream comedy station and she has appeared on Showtime and the Discovery Network.

She is the co-founder and co-producer of Queer Memoir, the popular NYC based storytelling event and the author of four books, including two health books for pre-teens which were, strangely enough, selected to be used by the Sonlight Christian Schools Homeschooling Curriculum as part of their science and wellness program.

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