The Story of a Queer Comic & A Knee Replacement. Oops. Part II

The Story of a Queer Comic & A Knee Replacement. Oops. Part II

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AKA The Queer Comics’ Loss Is Your Gain

Well, that did not go exactly as planned.

On January 21, despite having had an awesome recovery from knee replacement surgery (read about it way too much detail here) the Queer Comic had to have emergency surgery for a “raging” (that’s what doc in the ER called it. Was that a reference to Queer Anger? Hard to say) deep infection in the aforementioned knee replacement. The queer comic got to keep the replacement but will be on IV antibiotics (mobile style) for quite some time, and can’t be flying all around the country for gigs.

But hey the queer comic still needs to make a living. So this is where the “your gain” part comes in.

If you or your college, conference, faith community, pride event, coffeehouse, bookstore, livestock auction, etc were thinking of bringing Kelli in for some good ol’ fashioned genderqueer nerd comedy, or comedic health training, and you’re within 8 hours of NYC by bus or train….now is the time. Kelli needs to work, and she’s very interested in negotiating. Which means book her between now and June 1 and you will get a break on her fee, or she’ll throw in an extra workshop. Or copies of her CD for all the participants. Or teach an extra class. Or bake brownies. Or. You get the idea.

In fact, Kelli is so interested in working (and let’s face it, so unable to travel) that if you provide a contact that leads to a paying gig between now and June 1st, Kelli will reward you with an electronic copy of her latest book Freak of Nurture, and the MP3 version of any one of her first three CDs (your pick). And a signed, numbered copy of her original incision photo, which was banned from facebook for being “violent” and which  is now officially a collectors’ item (depending on how you define “collectors’ item) as that incision no longer exists, having been cut out during the second surgery.

You don’t have to take the print if you don’t want to.

Ready? You can find everything you need on Kelli’s main booking page.

But let’s make it simpler: here’s what Kelli has to offer the college crowd. And if you’re from a pride event or a faith community, yup there are pages just for you.

But also don’t miss information about Kelli’s one person shows, presentations about health, presentations for health care providers and health professions students as well presentations about the uses of humor. If you’re interested in bringing Kelli to your workplace for diversity, or humor and stress trainings, here’s everything you need to know. Finally, are you thinking about asking Kelli to emcee your next event? Check out the page we made just for you!

Wait, is that feeling overwhelming? Email Kelli directly (kellidunham@gmail.com) or just give her a call (215.964.1963) .

Or a text. Because it’s 2014.

Thanks!

The Story of a Queer Comic & A Knee Replacement. Mostly in Pictures

The Story of a Queer Comic & A Knee Replacement. Mostly in Pictures

Once upon a time in a land called Brooklyn there was a queer comic who could no longer travel to other far off lands to perform, nor even really walk around her apartment, all because she had a messed up hip.

Her friends got together and raised money so she could buy insurance. And when the queer comic went to the fancy big city doctor she found that the problem was never her hip, or at least not at first. Her problem was her knee which had been destroyed by getting hit by a car at age 12, kneeling on a bare concrete floor for four hours a day for a few years and other general knee abuse. The lucky result of this good diagnosis meant that there was also a good solution, albeit an unpleasant one: a total knee replacement surgery.

A few hours post op. The Queer Comic was moved into a room with a person kept refusing her Haldol. It was a long night.

A few hours post op. The Queer Comic was moved into a room with another patient who kept refusing to take her Haldol. It was a bit of a long night and the Queer Comic was glad for company of friends.

Still life with drain. One of the Queer Comic's friends thought that was a container of dried fruit. It was not

Still life with drain. One of the Queer Comic’s friends thought that was a container of dried fruit. It was not.

This photo was on the Queer comic's phone but she doesn't remember it being taken. It was probably taken by another queer comic friend of Kelli's who also brought her a copy of People and attempted to quiz the Queer Comic about celebrity names.

This photo was on the Queer Comic’s phone but she doesn’t remember it being taken. It was probably taken by another queer comic friend of Kelli’s who also brought her a copy of People and attempted to quiz the Queer Comic about celebrity names. The Queer Comic did not do very well on this quiz.

Post Op Day 2. The Queer Comic was already walking around with a walker, albeit not very happily.

Post Op Day 2. The Queer Comic was already walking around with a walker, albeit not very happily.

Can you find the knee in this photo? Knee replacements are like the Olympic champions of swelling. Some people have swelling for as long as one year post replacement. The Queer Comic found this out after the surgery, and was glad she hadn't known about this fact earlier.

Can you find the knee in this photo? Knee replacements are like the Olympic champions of swelling. Some people have swelling for as long as one year post replacement. The Queer Comic found this out after the surgery, and was glad she hadn’t known about this fact earlier.

The Queer Comic's friends have been amazing through this whole process. They brought hummus and tiny tigers. Or lions.

The Queer Comic’s friends have been amazing through this whole process. They brought hummus and tiny tigers. Or maybe lions.

And then the Queer Comic was very happy to go home. Friends and family visited, and a visiting nurse removed the dressing allowing the Queer Comic to see the incision for the first time. It was not a small incision, and the Queer Comic is not very tall, so the incision looks all the larger in comparison.

And then the Queer Comic was very happy to go home. Friends and family visited, and a visiting nurse removed the dressing allowing the Queer Comic to see the incision for the first time. It was not a small incision, and the Queer Comic is not very tall, so the incision looked all the larger in comparison.

There is little in the world more gay than a middle aged lesbian with a knee problem who returns home post surgery to have the resident cat immediately sit on that knee.

Still Life With Feline and Ice. There is little in the world more gay than a middle aged lesbian with a knee problem who returns home post surgery to have the resident cat immediately sit on that knee.

This is the bruise that the Queer Comic had on her back from the spinal anesthesia. Bruise or no, spinal anesthesia beats the hell out of waking up out of general anesthesia, confused and in horrible pain. Bring on the bruises, says the Queer Comic. And not even in a kinky way this time.

This is the bruise that the Queer Comic had on her back from the spinal anesthesia. Bruise or no, spinal anesthesia beats the hell out of waking up out of general anesthesia, confused and in horrible pain. Bring on the bruises, says the Queer Comic. And not even in a kinky way this time.

About five days post-op. The swelling is starting to subside, but there is little sign of an actual kneecap.

About five days post-op. The swelling is starting to subside, but there is little sign of an actual kneecap.

The Queer Comic's mom took this photo. If you look closely, you can see the Queer Comic is being guarded by Lulu the Cat. "Guarded"

The Queer Comic’s mom took this photo. If you look closely, you can see the Queer Comic is being guarded by Lulu the Cat. “Guarded”

Post Knee Replacement, there is no comfortable way to sleep. Even four weeks post op this is true. The cat positioning doesn't help much either, but it sure is cute.

Post Knee Replacement, there is no comfortable way to sleep. Even four weeks post op this is true. The cat positioning doesn’t help much either, but it sure is cute.

The Queer Comic's sister came to visit and brought her wonderful children, only one of who is an actual child. Everyone had a great time making science fiction themed shrinky dinks.

The Queer Comic’s sister came to visit and brought her wonderful children, only one of who is an actual child. Everyone had a great time making science fiction themed shrinky dinks.

Because of a mix-up/miscommunication at the surgeon's office, the Queer Comic couldn't get an appointment to get the stitches out until mid January. The Queer Comic is also a nurse and decided to take out her own stitches. This is just before removing them.

Because of a mix-up/miscommunication at the surgeon’s office, the Queer Comic couldn’t get an appointment to get the stitches out until mid January. The Queer Comic is also a nurse and decided to take out her own stitches. This is the incision just before removing said stitches.

And this is just after removing them. Not bad huh? The Queer Comic felt very very proud of herself. Perhaps ridiculously so.

And this is just after removing them. Not bad huh? The Queer Comic felt very very proud of herself. Perhaps ridiculously so.

These are the stitches after they came out. Kelli kept them for a while but after even her least squeamish friend didn't want to look at them, the Queer Comic threw them away.

These are the stitches after they came out. Kelli kept them for a while but after even her least squeamish friend didn’t want to look at them, the Queer Comic threw them away.

The Queer Comic had a lot of problems getting outpatient physical therapy set up, so with some help from friends, she created her own program. 11 exercises, three times a day. Even four weeks post op, it's pretty unpleasant.

The Queer Comic had a lot of problems getting outpatient physical therapy set up, so with some help from friends, she created her own program. 11 exercises, three times a day. Because anything worth doing is worth overdoing, says the Queer Comic.

And here is the knee, four weeks post op. Note the standing position!

And here is the knee, four weeks post op. Note the Queer Comic is in the standing position! Tap dancing video to come.

There really is a tap dancing video to come, so keep in touch!.

And if you’re in the New York area and you’re interested in hearing all the hilarious tales of the Queer Comic and her knee surgery, come to Stand Up Standing Up and Other Hilarious Tales of Queer Health on 1/25 at the Stonewall. More info and advance ticket link right here.

ALL NEW SHOW!

ALL NEW SHOW!

STAND UP STANDING UP AND OTHER RED AND BLACK

Kelli Dunham is everyone’s favorite ex-nun genderqueer nerd comic and now she is celebrating her knee replacement the only way she knows how to deal with difficulty: making comedy about it.

You’ll learn what her knee was replaced with (hint: not, as you might think, with a Diet Mountain Dew filled implant), what happened when her super queer Brookyn support team met her super Midwestern mother, and five gender-larious mix-ups in the hospital.

With special guest comic superstar Red Durkin!

Sliding scale advance tickets now available, 8-15 bucks here. If you need the scale to slide lower, no problem, email kellidunham@gmail.com.

More info and RSVP on the facebook event page.

PS To celebrate Facebook banning the event jpeg Kelli created to promote the event, we’ll be giving numbered, autographed prints of the close up of Kelli’s incision to the first five people in the door.

SQUARER

 

Trigger Warning!

Trigger Warning!

Yup, it’s time for Kelli to record her fourth (yeah fourth!) CD, and she is calling it TRIGGER WARNING.

Because you know, trigger warning for talking about death and other horrible things. Hilarious, but horrible.

For this one night only show, Kelli is teaming up with the also hilarious Red Durkin. There are two shows, and both comics will perform at both shows.

Here are the details:

KELLI DUNHAM in TRIGGER WARNING

RED DURKIN in INTERPRETIVE SCREAMING

Friday, October 11th at 8 pm and 10 pm, BOTH COMICS, BOTH SHOWS

Bat Haus Co-Working Space

279 Starr Street,

Brooklyn, New York 11237

Tickets on sale now (we are going to sell out, so please buy in advance) sliding scale starting at 10 bucks and there are a couple of fun options like hilarious VIP options.  And RSVP to our facebook event page and you’ll be kept up to the minute about special promos, contests, etc. We hear a bunch of fans are planning on coming to the shows dressed like situations from Kelli’s or Red’s jokes!

Red made this flyer. She is super talented.

Red made this flyer. She is super talented.

MORE ABOUT THE SHOW:

Red Durkin is the kind of comic who can make audiences wince one moment and fall over laughing the next. Kelli Dunham is known for gently edgy humor that can only come from a someone who was a very bad nun turned big huge queer. At these two shows, Red will be recording her first comedy CD and Kelli her fourth.
———————————–

MORE ABOUT THE COMICS:

KELLI DUNHAM is everyone’s favorite ex-nun genderqueer nerd comic. Kelli was one of Velvet Park Magazine’s 25 Significant Queers of 2011 and was named to the 2012 Campus Pride Hotlist. Kelli was also given the The Fresh Fruit Festival Award for Distinction in stand-up comedy, although Kelli has never before or since been called distinguished. Kelli is a registered nurse and the author of five books of humorous non-fiction, including two children’s books being used by Sonlight conservative home schooling association in their science curriculum. Kelli’s fifth book, Freak of Nurture, a collection is humorous essays that none other than lesbian comedy godmother Kate Clinton called “laugh out loud outrageous storytelling” is just out from Topside Press and caused author Barbara Carellas to give Kelli the moniker “the David Sedaris of the genderqueer dyke world”

Kelli has three released three comedy CDs: “I am NOT a 12 Year Old Boy” “Almost Pretty” and “Why Is the Fat One Always Angry” all which are on regular rotation on Sirius/XM Satellite Radio’s Rawdog Comedy Station and Pandora’s Margaret Cho Comedy Station.

Kelli was recently the expert on “What Is Normal” in Twist Magazine (known as Tiger Beat’s little sister magazine), on a page facing a full color poster of Justin Beiber. There isn’t even a ironic statement to match that, it’s just strangely true.

RED DURKIN is the managing editor of PrettyQueer.com and one the most promising young queer comics in the country. She has toured extensively as part of the Tranny Roadshow, performed at Camp Trans and the Transgender Leadership Summit and was a member of the Fully Functional Cabaret. She has written 9 zines, was featured in the final issue of Punk Planet magazine and Topside Press’s The Collection: Short Fiction from the Transgender Vanguard.Her work on Youtube has reach over 100,000 views and has appeared in classrooms and boardrooms nationwide.

RANDOM SHIT I SAY ON STAGE: COMEDY/THERAPY FINE LINE DIVISION

RANDOM SHIT I SAY ON STAGE: COMEDY/THERAPY FINE LINE DIVISION

It’s time for another installment of RANDOM SHIT I SAY ON STAGE, even though, um, this is first one. And might be the last. We’ll see.

Recently my ex-therapist started dating my room-mate. Which is not the punchline. Or even particularly surprising. They processed it with me about a million times and were totally fair blah blah. What is is interesting about this (besides the neverending adventure in overlap that is NYCqueerbrooklynqueerlife) is a friend asked me why it didn’t bother me. And it’s simple: my therapist doesn’t know anything I don’t already say to a room full of drunk strangers. With a mic in my hand. Hopefully, my therapist’s feedback is pretty different (especially from that chick who yelled “your therapist wants to kill herself” at a Rainbow Mountain gig) . Also, let’s hope I’m funnier on stage than in therapy.

But the same subject matter.

Which brings me to the bit about RANDOM SHIT I SAY ON STAGE. It happened at the Rapier Wit Comedy show, one of the very few mainstream comedy club shows I will do and a very good time. The crowd, for the love of mike, was almost completely straight. And they were sweet compassionate people. So of course I couldn’t resist teasing them about their desire to adopt me instead of laughing at.

Because you know we can’t have straight people being nice to us. That, apparently will ruin the whole thing.

They were just trying to be nice. Really they were.

They were just trying to be nice. Really they were.

Anyway you can listen to the whole thing, including 45 second of me messing around with the mic for no reason other than to raise tension in the room so the too kind crowd would laugh at me. It worked. Kind of.

LIVE FROM RAPIER WIT

Cats, Sex & Therapy

Cats, Sex & Therapy

A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

Tuesday October 2nd at 7 pm

Recoup Lounge 210 Rivington St, New York, New York 10002

5-10 bucks sliding scale at door, no one turned away (cash OR credit)

Genderqueer ex-nun nerd comic Kelli Dunham is premiering an all new show and this time she’s concentrating on the things that keep her sane (as much as that claim can be made) therapy, cats and sex (not necessarily in that order).

MORGAN GOODE OPENS!

LULU CAPTIONS

MORE ABOUT KELLI
Kelli Dunham (kellidunham.com) is everyone’s favorite ex-nun genderqueer nerd comic. Kelli was one of Velvet Park Magazine’s 25 Significant Queer Women of 2011 and author of four books of humorous non-fiction, including two children’s books being used by Sonlight conservative home schooling association in their science curriculum.

Kelli has performed nationwide at LGBT pride events (Seattle, Long Beach CA, Rhode Island, Baltimore, Atlanta), colleges (University of Delaware, Penn State University, Smith College, Temple University, Colorado State University) and even the occasional livestock auction. Both her comedy CDs, “I am NOT a 12 Year Old Boy” and “Almost Pretty” are on regular rotation on Sirius Satellite Radio’s mainstream comedy station and she has appeared on Showtime and the Discovery Network.

Kelli was the winner of the 2007 Fresh Fruit Festival Award of Distinction for stand up comedy, although she has never before or since been called distinguished. Kelli recently returned from a 12 day, 10 city tour of the Southern States via Megabus which included a 2 AM encounter with a pick-up truck full of homophobes in a Montgomery Alabama Speedy Check Cashing Parking Lot and an even scarier encounter with Sarah Palin.

Proceeds from the show will go to help finish Freak of Nurture: Why Is The Fat One Always Angry, Kelli’s third CD.

If you’re going go, let us know on facebook event, huh?
HEY DO YOU WANT YOUR CAT TO BE PART OF THE PUBLICITY FOR THE SHOW? EMAIL KELLIDUNHAM@GMAIL.COM WITH A PHOTO OF YOUR CAT AND WHY THEY ARE AWESOME AND/OR ANNOYING!

I supposes I should make the same offer for people who love their therapist as well, huh?

MORE ABOUT MORGAN GOODE:
ABOUT MORGAN GOODE

A storyteller and photographer by trade, Morgan Goode has yet to find a way to make money for herself so she’s forced to have a day job doing online fundraising for non profits. She also has a savior complex and can never say no to a queer in need so the list of LGBT orgs she volunteers for is endless and she sits on the boards of BinetUSA and Queers for Economic Justice. One day she is going to make good on her threat to do a photo project on white tourists photographing homeless people of color. Her favorite pastimes include subverting the gaze, making people uncomfortably aware of their privilege and petting kitties. Goode is also an editor at large for Prettyqueer.com

And in addition, we’ll have info on CAT ADOPTION! Of course:

Joan Deraval Cats in the City (NYC)

SOME RECENT SPOKESCATS…

MIKU FINISHED

TESSA WITH CAPTIONSCRYSTAL WITH CAPTIONS

BOBBY JACK WITH CAPTIONS

DARBY WITH CAPTIONS

FRANK AND TINY WITH CAPTIONS

Nuns, and their underwear: ASK ME!

Nuns, and their underwear: ASK ME!

Kelli Dunham aka Sister Mercy

Okay folks, at the end of this month I will be bringing back BAD HABIT, the story of my disastrous time at as Missionary of Charity nun for two FINAL SHOWS. Seriously, this is it, I think I can safely bury this one.

To make it extra special and interesting, as part of the show I will be answering any and all questions that people have about nuns! Or at least my life as a nun…to the best of my ability. So here’s how it works. Ask me a question here, anything you’ve been wanting to know, about the life of a nun.

Yes, ask THAT question. About the nunderwear (term coined by my friend Stacy Bias) About particular friendships. About body fluids.

And then, I’ll answer each question, as thoroughly, and as entertainingly as I can AS PART OF THE SHOW. I’ll also include you in the acknowledgements in the show program!

And if you ask a question, and aren’t local and can’t come to the show, don’t worry. This will eventually be answered as part of a video blog. But you should definitely try and be there.

Bad Habit will be part of a Fresh Fruit Festival double bill with Elizabeth Whitney, one of my favorite performers, who will also be reprising her show called Skinny Isn’t Sexy, the shows we were doing when we first met!

So ask away right here! And please also RSVP for the 7/24 or 7.28 NYC show on facebook where you can find links to buy tickets, including group tickets for as few as six people, at a discount.

POSTCARD FRESH FRUIT GENERAL