Kelli’s latest in XOJANE…

MY LAST TWO PARTNERS DIED, AND THREE YEARS LATER I’M TRYING TO DATE AGAIN

If I thought it was uncomfortable to be a youngish person dating after one partner’s death — and I did — dating with a two-for-two dead partner history is like competing in some sort of Awkwardness Olympics.
Read the rest (and make sure you check out the amazing comments) here.
DUNHAM_HEATHER AND KELLI

And oh so much news…

Kellicasserole

Kelli’s in the process of booking fall gigs (email or text right now, her schedule is filling up fast) but in the meantime the summer has been a blur:

Kelli had a story: I Failed At Being A Nun Because I Had Too Much Self Esteem published in XOJane and picked up by Thoughtcatalog.com

Kelli’s article on pelvic exams versus paps, in which she references getting a pelvic exam live on stage at the Stonewall, was published by The New Republic and picked up Politico.

Kelli’s writing an irreverent health/self advocacy column every other week on Curve Online. And is covering LGBT health for Autostraddle as well. And was interviewed about comedy, caregiving and queers at Onepluslove.com

Kelli is also gearing up (whatever that means, it’s some weird midwestern thing Kelli says) for the fifth anniversary of Queer Memoir and the 15th anniversary of performing!

Thanks to Topside Press, Kelli will be touring with Casey Plett + Sybil Lamb this fall. You probably want to book that right now. 

Also, twinkies have returned and they now come in chocolate covered varieties as well!

YOU DESERVE HEALTH CARE HEART

LGBT on Campus: Advocating for Better Healthcare

 

On March 8th, Kelli did a workshop called When the Rainbow Meets The White Coat: Advocating for Better Health Care for LGBT Students on College Campuses at the Five College Gender and Sexuality Conference at Hampshire College.

Students, alumni, staff, and health care providers all showed up for the conversation. Here are some of the talking points and tactics the group came up with. If you have any additional suggestions, please add them to the comments so this can be an ongoing conversation.

WHY BOTHER ADVOCATING FOR A CHANGE?

Remember: as a student you have a lot of consumer power, because you are not only buying insurance, you are paying TUITION. In capitalism money talks. But you know that.

Also remember: YOU DESERVE HEALTH CARE

YOU DESERVE HEALTH CARE HEART

Got that? Say it with us: I DESERVE HEALTH CARE.

Research supports that healthcare patterns we start when we’re younger continue when we’re older. If culturally competent healthcare isn’t available at the college level, many LGBT people will delay care for a long time.

“HOW TO” POINTS

Identify the problem (is it a single provider? System-wide?). This includes defining what is NOT the problem.

Identify a clear solution. It should be something concrete.  You might want to start with something easy to change. Forms are a great idea. Ask other colleges what they’re using, or check out the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association website for suggested changes to intake forms. Intake forms are a great place to start because they are self perpetuating. Providers might think “there are no LGBT patients in our practice” until they start asking more sensitive questions. Then, people start to identify as LGBT and providers realize “oh hey, I do have LGBT patients!”

Find research, research in a peer reviewed journal that that supports what you want (if you can’t find what you want, email kellidunham@gmail.com, she’ll try and help you look)

Research what other schools that your administration sees at competition for yours  Make the comparisons with other similar schools.

Prepare an elevator speech: a 45 second pitch about why LGBT students on campus need this action you are requesting.

Make it seem easy to change,

Find allies:

-Other students

-Other student groups

-Staff

-Faculty (especially TENURED faculty who have less to lose)

-Alumni, especially MONEYED alumni. (who are the buildings named after? Is that person or family likely to side with you? Contact them!)

Schools are afraid of liability (it’s why they send students that they seem as potentially sucidal home on medical leave) so introduce that concept early and often. Find cases where schools have been sued for similar incidents.

If your school is blocking you on ideological grounds, keep going back to what it will cost them financially. Often what seems like an ideological problem can mysteriously be dissolved by fear of a lawsuit.

More thoughts? Comment and share!

The Story of a Queer Comic & A Knee Replacement. Oops. Part II

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mySuperLamePic_5154fc3fb730c980689928ddf8b28b0c

AKA The Queer Comics’ Loss Is Your Gain

Well, that did not go exactly as planned.

On January 21, despite having had an awesome recovery from knee replacement surgery (read about it way too much detail here) the Queer Comic had to have emergency surgery for a “raging” (that’s what doc in the ER called it. Was that a reference to Queer Anger? Hard to say) deep infection in the aforementioned knee replacement. The queer comic got to keep the replacement but will be on IV antibiotics (mobile style) for quite some time, and can’t be flying all around the country for gigs.

But hey the queer comic still needs to make a living. So this is where the “your gain” part comes in.

If you or your college, conference, faith community, pride event, coffeehouse, bookstore, livestock auction, etc were thinking of bringing Kelli in for some good ol’ fashioned genderqueer nerd comedy, or comedic health training, and you’re within 8 hours of NYC by bus or train….now is the time. Kelli needs to work, and she’s very interested in negotiating. Which means book her between now and June 1 and you will get a break on her fee, or she’ll throw in an extra workshop. Or copies of her CD for all the participants. Or teach an extra class. Or bake brownies. Or. You get the idea.

In fact, Kelli is so interested in working (and let’s face it, so unable to travel) that if you provide a contact that leads to a paying gig between now and June 1st, Kelli will reward you with an electronic copy of her latest book Freak of Nurture, and the MP3 version of any one of her first three CDs (your pick). And a signed, numbered copy of her original incision photo, which was banned from facebook for being “violent” and which  is now officially a collectors’ item (depending on how you define “collectors’ item) as that incision no longer exists, having been cut out during the second surgery.

You don’t have to take the print if you don’t want to.

Ready? You can find everything you need on Kelli’s main booking page.

But let’s make it simpler: here’s what Kelli has to offer the college crowd. And if you’re from a pride event or a faith community, yup there are pages just for you.

But also don’t miss information about Kelli’s one person shows, presentations about health, presentations for health care providers and health professions students as well presentations about the uses of humor. If you’re interested in bringing Kelli to your workplace for diversity, or humor and stress trainings, here’s everything you need to know. Finally, are you thinking about asking Kelli to emcee your next event? Check out the page we made just for you!

Wait, is that feeling overwhelming? Email Kelli directly (kellidunham@gmail.com) or just give her a call (215.964.1963) .

Or a text. Because it’s 2014.

Thanks!

Still life with drain. One of the Queer Comic's friends thought that was a container of dried fruit. It was not

The Story of a Queer Comic & A Knee Replacement. Mostly in Pictures

Once upon a time in a land called Brooklyn there was a queer comic who could no longer travel to other far off lands to perform, nor even really walk around her apartment, all because she had a messed up hip.

Her friends got together and raised money so she could buy insurance. And when the queer comic went to the fancy big city doctor she found that the problem was never her hip, or at least not at first. Her problem was her knee which had been destroyed by getting hit by a car at age 12, kneeling on a bare concrete floor for four hours a day for a few years and other general knee abuse. The lucky result of this good diagnosis meant that there was also a good solution, albeit an unpleasant one: a total knee replacement surgery.

A few hours post op. The Queer Comic was moved into a room with a person kept refusing her Haldol. It was a long night.

A few hours post op. The Queer Comic was moved into a room with another patient who kept refusing to take her Haldol. It was a bit of a long night and the Queer Comic was glad for company of friends.

Still life with drain. One of the Queer Comic's friends thought that was a container of dried fruit. It was not

Still life with drain. One of the Queer Comic’s friends thought that was a container of dried fruit. It was not.

This photo was on the Queer comic's phone but she doesn't remember it being taken. It was probably taken by another queer comic friend of Kelli's who also brought her a copy of People and attempted to quiz the Queer Comic about celebrity names.

This photo was on the Queer Comic’s phone but she doesn’t remember it being taken. It was probably taken by another queer comic friend of Kelli’s who also brought her a copy of People and attempted to quiz the Queer Comic about celebrity names. The Queer Comic did not do very well on this quiz.

Post Op Day 2. The Queer Comic was already walking around with a walker, albeit not very happily.

Post Op Day 2. The Queer Comic was already walking around with a walker, albeit not very happily.

Can you find the knee in this photo? Knee replacements are like the Olympic champions of swelling. Some people have swelling for as long as one year post replacement. The Queer Comic found this out after the surgery, and was glad she hadn't known about this fact earlier.

Can you find the knee in this photo? Knee replacements are like the Olympic champions of swelling. Some people have swelling for as long as one year post replacement. The Queer Comic found this out after the surgery, and was glad she hadn’t known about this fact earlier.

The Queer Comic's friends have been amazing through this whole process. They brought hummus and tiny tigers. Or lions.

The Queer Comic’s friends have been amazing through this whole process. They brought hummus and tiny tigers. Or maybe lions.

And then the Queer Comic was very happy to go home. Friends and family visited, and a visiting nurse removed the dressing allowing the Queer Comic to see the incision for the first time. It was not a small incision, and the Queer Comic is not very tall, so the incision looks all the larger in comparison.

And then the Queer Comic was very happy to go home. Friends and family visited, and a visiting nurse removed the dressing allowing the Queer Comic to see the incision for the first time. It was not a small incision, and the Queer Comic is not very tall, so the incision looked all the larger in comparison.

There is little in the world more gay than a middle aged lesbian with a knee problem who returns home post surgery to have the resident cat immediately sit on that knee.

Still Life With Feline and Ice. There is little in the world more gay than a middle aged lesbian with a knee problem who returns home post surgery to have the resident cat immediately sit on that knee.

This is the bruise that the Queer Comic had on her back from the spinal anesthesia. Bruise or no, spinal anesthesia beats the hell out of waking up out of general anesthesia, confused and in horrible pain. Bring on the bruises, says the Queer Comic. And not even in a kinky way this time.

This is the bruise that the Queer Comic had on her back from the spinal anesthesia. Bruise or no, spinal anesthesia beats the hell out of waking up out of general anesthesia, confused and in horrible pain. Bring on the bruises, says the Queer Comic. And not even in a kinky way this time.

About five days post-op. The swelling is starting to subside, but there is little sign of an actual kneecap.

About five days post-op. The swelling is starting to subside, but there is little sign of an actual kneecap.

The Queer Comic's mom took this photo. If you look closely, you can see the Queer Comic is being guarded by Lulu the Cat. "Guarded"

The Queer Comic’s mom took this photo. If you look closely, you can see the Queer Comic is being guarded by Lulu the Cat. “Guarded”

Post Knee Replacement, there is no comfortable way to sleep. Even four weeks post op this is true. The cat positioning doesn't help much either, but it sure is cute.

Post Knee Replacement, there is no comfortable way to sleep. Even four weeks post op this is true. The cat positioning doesn’t help much either, but it sure is cute.

The Queer Comic's sister came to visit and brought her wonderful children, only one of who is an actual child. Everyone had a great time making science fiction themed shrinky dinks.

The Queer Comic’s sister came to visit and brought her wonderful children, only one of who is an actual child. Everyone had a great time making science fiction themed shrinky dinks.

Because of a mix-up/miscommunication at the surgeon's office, the Queer Comic couldn't get an appointment to get the stitches out until mid January. The Queer Comic is also a nurse and decided to take out her own stitches. This is just before removing them.

Because of a mix-up/miscommunication at the surgeon’s office, the Queer Comic couldn’t get an appointment to get the stitches out until mid January. The Queer Comic is also a nurse and decided to take out her own stitches. This is the incision just before removing said stitches.

And this is just after removing them. Not bad huh? The Queer Comic felt very very proud of herself. Perhaps ridiculously so.

And this is just after removing them. Not bad huh? The Queer Comic felt very very proud of herself. Perhaps ridiculously so.

These are the stitches after they came out. Kelli kept them for a while but after even her least squeamish friend didn't want to look at them, the Queer Comic threw them away.

These are the stitches after they came out. Kelli kept them for a while but after even her least squeamish friend didn’t want to look at them, the Queer Comic threw them away.

The Queer Comic had a lot of problems getting outpatient physical therapy set up, so with some help from friends, she created her own program. 11 exercises, three times a day. Even four weeks post op, it's pretty unpleasant.

The Queer Comic had a lot of problems getting outpatient physical therapy set up, so with some help from friends, she created her own program. 11 exercises, three times a day. Because anything worth doing is worth overdoing, says the Queer Comic.

And here is the knee, four weeks post op. Note the standing position!

And here is the knee, four weeks post op. Note the Queer Comic is in the standing position! Tap dancing video to come.

There really is a tap dancing video to come, so keep in touch!.

And if you’re in the New York area and you’re interested in hearing all the hilarious tales of the Queer Comic and her knee surgery, come to Stand Up Standing Up and Other Hilarious Tales of Queer Health on 1/25 at the Stonewall. More info and advance ticket link right here.

STAND UP STANDING UP AND OTHER RED AND BLACK

ALL NEW SHOW!

STAND UP STANDING UP AND OTHER RED AND BLACK

Kelli Dunham is everyone’s favorite ex-nun genderqueer nerd comic and now she is celebrating her knee replacement the only way she knows how to deal with difficulty: making comedy about it.

You’ll learn what her knee was replaced with (hint: not, as you might think, with a Diet Mountain Dew filled implant), what happened when her super queer Brookyn support team met her super Midwestern mother, and five gender-larious mix-ups in the hospital.

With special guest comic superstar Red Durkin!

Sliding scale advance tickets now available, 8-15 bucks here. If you need the scale to slide lower, no problem, email kellidunham@gmail.com.

More info and RSVP on the facebook event page.

PS To celebrate Facebook banning the event jpeg Kelli created to promote the event, we’ll be giving numbered, autographed prints of the close up of Kelli’s incision to the first five people in the door.

SQUARER

 

KELLI U PENNANT

WELCOME, NEW STUDENTS, TO KELLI U!

UPDATE 20 FEBRUARY 2014: The January classes are already up and running, but if you’re interested in one on one creative coaching, just hit up the contact page.  Kelli is offering specials all through the spring/summer of 2014.

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Yeah it’s true.

Kelli is scheduled for a knee replacement in early December.

But don’t worry, they’re just replacing her knee with another (fake) one.

Don’t believe the rumors that her knee is being replaced with a: ADJUSTABLE MONKEY WRENCH

Or a lower leg donation from this very down and out bear:

BEAR WITH CAPTION

Or even an implant filled with Kelli’s favorite fluid:

DMD CAN

Not for lack of trying. Kelli’s surgeon was SO uncooperative!

So Kelli won’t be actively touring until mid-February. However, she’s taking the opportunity to teach a few ecourses that folks have been bugging her to put into action anyway. All include a ton of personal support, are available on a sliding scale basis and make great (consensual please) gifts.

Okay, okay. But Kelli's not offering a graphic arts course.

Don’t worry. Kelli is NOT offering a graphic arts course.For obvious reasons.

ECOURSE OFFERINGS:

The IF I HEAR ONE MORE RAPE JOKE I’LL SCREAM Alternate Alternate Stand Up Comedy Course for Progressive People: a six week career class designed for the beginning to intermediate comic who wants to start in or continue in stand-up without losing their soul. You can read more details and register here.

WHAT DOESN’T KILL US MAKES UM, MORE LIKELY TO TAKE UP KNITTING? This is a four week personalized course in CREATIVE RESILIENCE for the individual looking for creative ways to deal with grief, depression, PTSD or living on a planet that is completely shitty sometimes. Bring your own creative outlet (writing, performing, squaredancing etc) or Kelli will help you find one. More details and registration here.

PERSONALIZED URGING:

PERSONALIZED CREATIVE URGING (AKA COACHING, BUT KELLI HATES THAT WORD) Do you have a creative project you really need to finish but you can’t seem to get there? Kelli can help you figure out what your barriers are, design a plan and schedule, put together a support team, and nag you hard core into getting it done. Kelli has only a few slots open for this service. Gift certificates also available for one-time assessments or urging on an hourly basis. Details and registration here.

PERSONALIZED HEALTHCARE URGING. Getting healthcare is tough tough stuff but our bodies and our lives are worth fighting for. If you or someone you know is struggling to get a pelvic exam, have that mole looked at, make a primary care visit or meet another healthcare goal, there isn’t an app for that. Kelli can provide help with planning, self understanding and support to complete the task. Makes a great gift (with consent) for someone you love. Details and purchase right here.

 

Red made this flyer. She is super talented.

Trigger Warning!

Yup, it’s time for Kelli to record her fourth (yeah fourth!) CD, and she is calling it TRIGGER WARNING.

Because you know, trigger warning for talking about death and other horrible things. Hilarious, but horrible.

For this one night only show, Kelli is teaming up with the also hilarious Red Durkin. There are two shows, and both comics will perform at both shows.

Here are the details:

KELLI DUNHAM in TRIGGER WARNING

RED DURKIN in INTERPRETIVE SCREAMING

Friday, October 11th at 8 pm and 10 pm, BOTH COMICS, BOTH SHOWS

Bat Haus Co-Working Space

279 Starr Street,

Brooklyn, New York 11237

Tickets on sale now (we are going to sell out, so please buy in advance) sliding scale starting at 10 bucks and there are a couple of fun options like hilarious VIP options.  And RSVP to our facebook event page and you’ll be kept up to the minute about special promos, contests, etc. We hear a bunch of fans are planning on coming to the shows dressed like situations from Kelli’s or Red’s jokes!

Red made this flyer. She is super talented.

Red made this flyer. She is super talented.

MORE ABOUT THE SHOW:

Red Durkin is the kind of comic who can make audiences wince one moment and fall over laughing the next. Kelli Dunham is known for gently edgy humor that can only come from a someone who was a very bad nun turned big huge queer. At these two shows, Red will be recording her first comedy CD and Kelli her fourth.
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MORE ABOUT THE COMICS:

KELLI DUNHAM is everyone’s favorite ex-nun genderqueer nerd comic. Kelli was one of Velvet Park Magazine’s 25 Significant Queers of 2011 and was named to the 2012 Campus Pride Hotlist. Kelli was also given the The Fresh Fruit Festival Award for Distinction in stand-up comedy, although Kelli has never before or since been called distinguished. Kelli is a registered nurse and the author of five books of humorous non-fiction, including two children’s books being used by Sonlight conservative home schooling association in their science curriculum. Kelli’s fifth book, Freak of Nurture, a collection is humorous essays that none other than lesbian comedy godmother Kate Clinton called “laugh out loud outrageous storytelling” is just out from Topside Press and caused author Barbara Carellas to give Kelli the moniker “the David Sedaris of the genderqueer dyke world”

Kelli has three released three comedy CDs: “I am NOT a 12 Year Old Boy” “Almost Pretty” and “Why Is the Fat One Always Angry” all which are on regular rotation on Sirius/XM Satellite Radio’s Rawdog Comedy Station and Pandora’s Margaret Cho Comedy Station.

Kelli was recently the expert on “What Is Normal” in Twist Magazine (known as Tiger Beat’s little sister magazine), on a page facing a full color poster of Justin Beiber. There isn’t even a ironic statement to match that, it’s just strangely true.

RED DURKIN is the managing editor of PrettyQueer.com and one the most promising young queer comics in the country. She has toured extensively as part of the Tranny Roadshow, performed at Camp Trans and the Transgender Leadership Summit and was a member of the Fully Functional Cabaret. She has written 9 zines, was featured in the final issue of Punk Planet magazine and Topside Press’s The Collection: Short Fiction from the Transgender Vanguard.Her work on Youtube has reach over 100,000 views and has appeared in classrooms and boardrooms nationwide.